The End is Near! I Hope There Really is an Afterlife

Friday is the final day of my RELS1 class.
In my head I am saying Wait! There's more! I got this!
But now I know where to look when I want to know more—thanks to that wily instructor, the list of books I want has grown exponentially with each assignment.

I feel like I have been to a giant party and met a whole lot of people who I never knew existed.
Each of them has invited me to their house, but all on the same day! This semester went so fast I did not have time to assimilate all the new information.

In the mean time, I realize I may have learned more than I thought.
for instance:

• Women in religious studies often have biblical names; Mary, Sarah, etc., (I don't know how Hillary got in, but it may be a fluke)

• Sometimes those women marry dudes who look like Jesus and they name their children Faith—I love that!

• Frequently women who Defy this male dominated subject have last names that begin with D; Doniger, Daly, Douglas. 

• There is no Emily Durkeim, it's Emile Durkhiem and I did not invent the term collective consciousness

• Max Weber sounds a lot like that guy I was trying to look up on our first day of class: http://leakelley.blogspot.com/2014/09/introduction-to-religious-studies.html

• Religion is a subject that anthropologists, sociologists, psychologists, and philosophers need to participate in to find their way through the maze of Humanity but many of them never find Religion.

• If a mushroom turns blue when you touch it, a Jaguar may have left it for you.

• Sufis are just as good at poetry as they are at dancing in the halls of a Grateful Dead concert. They study Whirling, Writing, and Rythmatic in Sufi School

• The Dao is not dependent on the stock market but when it rises it does make a sound, "Chi Ching"

• A person can be born more than once, but the second time the Father gives birth

* My irreverent tone should in no way reflect my absolute appreciation for the genuine knowledge and scholarly information I have recently acquired through my introduction to religious studies. It's just that sometimes I learn by associating absurd puns with new information.

I have referred to the wily instructor, which may sound like she represents Coyote Medicine (according to Native American lore) in which the trickster learns and teaches—and I did get kinda cleverly tricked into learning a lot. But, I also think there is Hawk Medicine involved here and I am thankful for the Messenger.

The Messenger

The Precipice of The Abyss

Today I feel I may be teetering on the precipice of actually integrating the myriad of theories and concepts that I have learned, or clinging to the edge while gazing into Nietzsche's Abyss.

While I am in no danger of becoming a monster or an nihilistic priest of any kind, I can sense the abyss staring back into me, wondering why I have not finished my final essay. 

In re-organizing the essay, I have wrestled with defining spiritual responsibility. The irony of this, in the face of my falling a bit behind in my RELS1 class, did not escape me.

This is the part where I must compartmentalize. 

There are so many things I want to know and so many options on the offering plate that I find it difficult to focus.

This focal adjustment problem is exacerbated by some other factors which have nothing to do with religion but mainly juggling responsibilities beyond the spiritual realm.

Okay, I'm leaping from the edge and I'm goin' in! 

The Precipice by Lea Kelley

William James and Steve Winwood

William James spoke of "The higher mind of my mind" when he was trying to explain his relationship to It. 
He also said that he had a less frequent relationship with It as he grew older and, I am assuming, more healthy minded. James expressed a wistful nostalgia at his gradual distance from It.

I related to James' It as something I experience when I am painting.

Since my return to school to learn how to be more open minded (which I believe is a contributing factor to becoming healthy minded) I have not been painting.

This is partly due to time constraints and mostly due to using my mind in a way that is not conducive to meandering about in the abstract corridors of my synaptic pathways (daydreaming) which usually compels me to paint.

I miss It, too Mr. James.

But I hope I will find it again after this semester and that It will be an even more inspirational, higher love of my love to paint.

The Omni-Max (as in Weber) Theater

Sometimes RELS1 feels like a huge omni-max theater where a multitude of movies are playing simultaniously. I want to see all the movies, but I have to compartmentalize and move on because the theater closes in a few weeks.

I feel like each movie (theorist, scholar, psychologist, philosopher) is a rich source of information and intellectual adventure but I am only able to view them in breif clips and trailers before turning to the next movie.

There is definitely a plot line and plenty of protagonists and antagonists (and sometimes those characters are playing lead roles in one another's film debuts) but there never seems to be an intermission wherein I can put down my popcorn box and get up from my seat.

I am learning so much so fast that I am afraid I may not be able to retain the full impact of the director's (or in this case, the wily instructor's) artistic contribution to my personal culture.

I have developed an affinity toward some of the starring celebrities (such as William James, Wendy Doniger, and Freud and a palatable aversion to others, who I will not name because I am working on understanding them better before negating their method acting.

The good news is most of these movies are out on DVD so I can view each one individually at home when the theater closes.
The bad news is I will not be able bring my aging DVD player into a classroom where there is a qualified technician who can help me adjust it for better viewing.

Spoiler Alert!

• The Creature Consciousness is calling from inside the house.
• Nobody gets the girl.
• Everybody dies but we may see them again in the next movie if we behave and go to church.

Don't Burn That Bridge! My Dog Wants to Cross

I keep forgetting one of the most important words I have learned in Religious Studies.

While I am certain this word does not only apply to religious studies, but to almost anything that requires communication or learning, religious studies (and that wily instructor) introduced me to this beautiful word—and I really want to incorporate it into my vocabulary for future and present reference.
I think maybe I ought to write an essay on it, or create a collage around it or build a bridge across a misunderstanding with it.
I think I may keep forgetting it because I don't know how to use it in a sentence, therefore it eludes me when I attempt to evoke it.
I just caught myself talking to my dog in the kitchen while pouring myself a cup of coffee.

Me: You know why you and I get along so well, mon petite legume? Yeah, I do call her my little bean.

Dog: blank stare, one ear perked up, tilted head

Me: because we understand each other, I am the crazy lady who talks to my dog and you are the dog that thinks everything I say sounds like "I have a treat for you"

Dog: Eyes sparkle, both ears perk up, sits in obsequious manner

Me: No, I didn't mean that I have a treat for you, I was just using that to describe how we understand each other, understand?

Dog: Ears drop from perky to droopy, eyes dart to my coffee cup, confusion enters from dog stage left

Me: see, you and I, we have a HEURISTIC! And you know what that means? We can communicate, get stuff done together, find common meaning in abstract concepts with a little shortcut and a no nonsense comprehension of quick relate-ability! Like you know, when I pick up the ball and you immediately think I'm gonna throw it, and you get into that super cute I-get-to-run pose and...

Dog: standing at dog bowl with ball in her mouth,
"Lady, if you don't give me a treat this instant, I'm gonna dial your cell phone and call a "friend". You know what that means, Lady? Yeah, you can heuristic your way out of a psyche ward while the neighbor comes over and gives me all the treats I want. Oh, and by the way, Lady, that heuristic you're wearing? It makes your butt look huge. Just so we understand each other. Thanks for the nice talk."

I think my dog may be biased.

The Otto-matic Experience

Since I don't have much time to paint these days, I have to process all the many things I am learning as they seep into my environment from my brain in other creative ways.

The other day I was walking and pondering why I don't really have a "religion".
I don't even know if I want a religion but I definitely honor those who do.

I don't know if synchronicity counts as a religious experience, but it gives me a moment  of joy when it happens. And it happened on this walk.
I found this advertisement for an event. I snatched it from it's location (let's just call that cultural borrowing, not thievery) and brought it home to tuck neatly in my RELS1 folder.
This is it...

I am not Michel de Montaigne but..

I am working on an essay that has turned into an in-cohesive novel in my head.

I started at point A and have traveled from point Z to G to ... a whole lot of places I was not prepared to go.

Point A was William James walking into a funerary rite of Daoists. He drinks the tea, eats all five plates of fruit, and blows out the candles (lamps) so that the dead person can't find their way to immortality.

James explains to the curious attendees that although what they believed is true for them, it is not true for him (even though it is true because they believed it is true) so he felt compelled to blow out the light because... well it was interfering with his useful and pragmatic stream of consciousness.

So, I went from this imaginary place to a whole lot of Gifford lectures on natural theology wherein I was sitting in an uncomfortable chair somewhere in Scotland.
I could not study the chair as the object that it was, but I knew in my heart there was value to the chair and there must be a reason it was so uncomfortable.

Then I went back to the Daoists, disturbing the Qi (energy) among them to see if maybe that chair was in a bad feng shui position in the universe. That would explain, I thought, why it was so uncomfortable.

Well, the Daoists were busy meditating and I could not catch my breath to ask them this very important question about the placement of that uncomfortable chair.

So, I went back to the University of Edinburgh and Carl Jung was ushering me to my seat (yeah, the same uncomfortable chair) when I realized I needed to really focus on my point before atheism entered the picture and started effecting my liver.

Yeah, that's the winding road of my essay.
Me and Montaigne, we're like that!