Friday, November 21, 2014

Don't Burn That Bridge! My Dog Wants to Cross

I keep forgetting one of the most important words I have learned in Religious Studies.

While I am certain this word does not only apply to religious studies, but to almost anything that requires communication or learning, religious studies (and that wily instructor) introduced me to this beautiful word—and I really want to incorporate it into my vocabulary for future and present reference.
I think maybe I ought to write an essay on it, or create a collage around it or build a bridge across a misunderstanding with it.
I think I may keep forgetting it because I don't know how to use it in a sentence, therefore it eludes me when I attempt to evoke it.
I just caught myself talking to my dog in the kitchen while pouring myself a cup of coffee.

Me: You know why you and I get along so well, mon petite legume? Yeah, I do call her my little bean.

Dog: blank stare, one ear perked up, tilted head

Me: because we understand each other, I am the crazy lady who talks to my dog and you are the dog that thinks everything I say sounds like "I have a treat for you"

Dog: Eyes sparkle, both ears perk up, sits in obsequious manner

Me: No, I didn't mean that I have a treat for you, I was just using that to describe how we understand each other, understand?

Dog: Ears drop from perky to droopy, eyes dart to my coffee cup, confusion enters from dog stage left

Me: see, you and I, we have a HEURISTIC! And you know what that means? We can communicate, get stuff done together, find common meaning in abstract concepts with a little shortcut and a no nonsense comprehension of quick relate-ability! Like you know, when I pick up the ball and you immediately think I'm gonna throw it, and you get into that super cute I-get-to-run pose and...

Dog: standing at dog bowl with ball in her mouth,
"Lady, if you don't give me a treat this instant, I'm gonna dial your cell phone and call a "friend". You know what that means, Lady? Yeah, you can heuristic your way out of a psyche ward while the neighbor comes over and gives me all the treats I want. Oh, and by the way, Lady, that heuristic you're wearing? It makes your butt look huge. Just so we understand each other. Thanks for the nice talk."

I think my dog may be biased.





1 comment:

  1. heuristic,,, wow nice word for self learning. the sentence, as a cab driver if you dont use heuristic thought you miss all the rides?

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